Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
