It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
