very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
