He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
