covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
