Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
