We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
