remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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