He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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