How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
