My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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