hotel room ftw
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
