I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
