im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
