Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
