I have demons in me.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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