I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i drank out of a bidet.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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