The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
