So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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