No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
