so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
please come you make the beer taste better
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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