Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
