at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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