i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
