Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
