Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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