This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I had to cum in my sink.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
