At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Randomize
