Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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