i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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