I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
