lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
