just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It's just like the Real World with babies
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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