Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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