On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
