he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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