did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
whose parrot is this?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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