You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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