Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
