meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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