we have officially lost it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
