your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she was so not down for the gang bang
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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