So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
