I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
