we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
