Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
