Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
