i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
