there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i would one night stand the shit outta him
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
