remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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