nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
