everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The air was thick with penises
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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