This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
