i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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