Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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